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For me, after a year or so, the novelty wore off.‘I realised that here I was, an educated young woman, volunteering to behave for free like porn stars who were paid, or forced, to pretend they were enjoying it.’Indeed, the main difference in the way men and women use porn seems to be how women feel afterwards.
According to social worker and church pastor Karin Cooke, who has spoken to young women like Emma for her book, Dangerous Honesty: Stories Of Women Who Have Escaped The Destructive Power Of Pornography, many feel desperate because they think they are struggling with porn alone. One way that porn imprisons women is that they feel isolated and feel they have no one to talk to.
And so they turn to porn again.’ Yet psychosexual counsellor Krystal Woodbridge, of the College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists, insists that, when used in moderation and within a loving relationship, porn can benefit some women.‘For some, it enhances their intimacy with their partners.
Some couples are pleased it’s something they can do together,’ says Krystal, who is based in St Albans, Hertfordshire.
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A classic ‘good girl’, she won prizes for her academic achievements throughout her school career before being voted deputy head girl in the Sixth Form. It spanned ten sheets of A4, and there, highlighted in an orange pen, were all the pornographic sites she’d visited.
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This is because, as women who have shared their experiences with Wilson have pointed out, they don’t need as long a recovery period after climaxing as men.However, despite the fact that porn addiction is seen as a male problem, Emma is far from alone.While it’s accepted that women watch porn — at least one in three visitors to such sites are estimated to be female — it’s less recognised that some find it difficult to stop.Now as she faced a disciplinary panel at her university, she was struggling to think how on earth she was going to explain this to her proud parents. Emma, now 24, cringes as she recalls: ‘I’d been caught red-handed by the IT department. Moments earlier, Emma had stared in abject horror at a document listing every website she had visited on her laptop in her halls of residence since starting her degree at the start of the year.